Did I Mention the Coffee?

Last week I flew to Toronto for the day for work. It was my first time taking Porter Airlines, and it was impressively civilized. With no class system, everyone has access to the Porter lounge where you can help yourself to free coffee, water, pop and cookies. And coffee. And lattes. Did I mention the coffee?

It was a 7am flight and thank goodness there was coffee. Did I say that already? Thank you Porter. For the coffee.


Just before going through security at the Ottawa airport, there is a mat that you have to stand on, and it is this mat that randomly decides who will be selected for extra screening. I am always chosen for extra screening. Every single freaking time. I think it is because of my girl-next-door, sweet and shy persona. They must be on to me at last.

At least now I can choose between the physically invasive pat-down, or the full body scan in which I know that someone, somewhere is getting to look at me naked. And it is probably not Hugh Jackman. Sigh.


But all of this is trivial compared to the really important issue in air travel which is: who gets to use the armrest between you and your seat mate? On my way to Toronto, the man beside me who looked to be about twelve but who said he was some sort of regional manager of something or other immediately commandeered it for his own use, resting his elbows, as he Blackberried like a madman. I decided to see if I could wrangle it away from him. I gradually spread out, taking up more more and more room, encroaching on his space slowly but surely.

But then dang, the drink cart arrived. Wait, not dang, because there was coffee.

Have I mentioned that ‘dang’ is my new favourite word?

Now where was I? Ah yes, the drink cart had arrived and here was my chance. My seat mate reached over to grab his coffee from the flight attendant, but because he would not put down his Blackberry while he grabbed, he spilled his coffee all over me and my new black skirt.

Apologizing sincerely to me, I did not allow myself to become distracted. I saw my opportunity and I took it.

The. Armrest. Was. Mine.

About Finola

I am an Ottawa area Mom, writer-want-to-be and coffee legend in the making.
This entry was posted in coffee, flying. Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to Did I Mention the Coffee?

  1. Deb says:

    Gotta keep your eye on the prize! Nicely played. Although not so nice to have hot coffee spilled on you!

  2. laurie says:

    You are such a great writer!! Sorry about the coffee on the skirt but – well played indeed.

  3. Eileen says:

    From long experience, I know that Finola's tenacity always wins in the end. I never doubted for a moment that before the plane landed in Toronto, the
    Arm. Rest. Would. Be. Hers!

  4. Jen says:

    Well played, Finola – and a testament for wearing black when travelling! I am actually travelling to London (Ont.) tonight, and am totally going to use the drink-cart distraction move to get what I need. Oh. Yeah.

  5. Chantal says:

    Oh Finola 🙂 Way to turn a bad situation to your advantage! I was on the train on friday and sat next to someone who had control. She didn't relinquish till she got off the train. Which thankfully was only 2 hours into a 4 hour trip. A young wippersnapper university student sat next to me and I kept control. The last two hours were heavenly.

  6. Capital Mom says:

    You are ruthless! Love it.

  7. Sid. says:

    This could be the funniest thing you've ever written. Love it!

    So envious you got to fly Porter (and drink free coffee) – I've heard great things about them but have yet to have a chance to try them out.

  8. Bibliomama says:

    But it was a black skirt, which magically repels all stains – worth the sacrifice for the armrest win, right?

  9. Anonymous says:

    Congratulations on winning the prize. Yet, so unfortunate you had to fight for it. A true gentleman would have made sure there was room for two. Moreso for a nice lady wearing a black dress.

    Chevalry is still alive.

  10. Anonymous says:

    That's a dang funny post, Finola.


  11. Laura says:

    Love the word dang, coffee and this well written post. 🙂

  12. Kara says:

    Great post! And dang funny too!

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