A Tribute to Finola (Written by my Mom)

This is the most beautiful thing that anyone has ever written for or about me. I love you too Mom.

*****************

A very happy 40th birthday to my beautiful Finola.

You came into our lives 40 years ago and from the very first day brought us great joy. You were such an easy baby to care for, always good-humoured and smiling, and after the first few weeks when the world was new to you, you never cried, except when you were hurt.

You were always wide awake and lively during the daytime, naps were something to be despised. I did my housework, cooking, ironing etc. with you always with me strapped in your little chair, on table tops, the kitchen counter, the middle of beds or on any safe surface. As long as you could see me and hear my voice, you were content. Even when I read, I did it aloud, so you could hear me.

This was balanced out when, at three weeks, you began to sleep right through the night.

For some reason, you had a special affinity with the people that worked in our local bank. No sooner did we get inside, than you were off to your chosen person and chatted with them until I was ready to leave. On one occasion when I was finished my business you were not there. I looked all around, and then in a large high-backed leather chair in the manager’s office, I saw two tiny feet sticking out. He was your choice that day. Everyone there knew you, and were very impressed by your vocabulary and ability to express yourself when you were only two years old.

I know you hated school (so did I!) but still you worked very hard and were a high achiever. I used to love parent-teacher interviews and hear all the praise your teachers heaped on you. And it was so well-deserved.

I always remember something you said to me when Paul left home to share an apartment with some friends while he was at university. As we walked back into the house after seeing him off, you said: “when I leave home I will be the one to leave you on your own.” My heart broke a little at the sensitivity behind this thought. I tried to reassure you that, although I would miss you so much, at a certain point children needed to spread their wings and learn to be independent and that parents understood this.

The years we spent alone together were good ones for me. I don’t remember any major disagreements we had; minor ones of course, but they were usually resolved without acrimony and without leaving either of us with angry feelings. It’s a hard job to decide just how much freedom a child should have, but when all my inclinations were to say ‘no’, you always had good and valid reasons which you presented very well as to why I should say ‘yes’. I trusted you and I liked and trusted your friends.You did so many things to help me during those years. Every day you washed, dried and put away the breakfast dishes before I came home from work. Every week during the summer, you cut the grass. And in the winter, I always came home to a perfectly shovelled driveway and path after a snowfall. All these things, and many more, you did without even being asked.

Then you did leave home. Of course I missed you enormously, but I knew how much you loved your little apartment on Somerset St.W, and I was glad that you didn’t have to make that long journey by bus from the labs at Smyth Road to Kanata every night.

There were so many occasions when you made me proud. When you graduated Magna cum Laude in your undergraduate degree, and then when you won the top prize for the best master’s thesis in your Master’s. I knew you had been nominated, but didn’t know that you had won. When it was announced at the Art’s Centre, I jumped to my feet cheering wildly. I even turned to the people behind us shrieking “that’s my kid” like a demented banshee. They were so nice about it, and they all shook hands with me. When I saw you downstairs afterwards, I had great difficulty not crying.

Then you married Tony. What can I say? There isn’t a better son-in-law in the world, and his kindness and helpfulness to me is beyond description. Whatever I ask of him is immediately done willingly and cheerfully. He is kind, loving, funny and has the patience of a saint. I love him so much.

And then you presented me with two beautiful little granddaughters, N and B. I can’t even put into words the love I feel for them, and the pleasure I get from being with them.

Finola, when I wrote a tribute to Paul on his 40th, I thanked him for 40 years of loving kindness, patience and understanding.

I thank you for the same things. I love you.

Me and my Mom
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About Finola

I am an Ottawa area Mom, writer-want-to-be and coffee legend in the making.
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13 Responses to A Tribute to Finola (Written by my Mom)

  1. Anonymous says:

    That is a beautiful post. And so true. Happy Birthday, Finola. Cathy

  2. Anonymous says:

    Loved reading this, it has captured you perfectly, you are one special lady. Love you so much Monica x

  3. zoom says:

    That brought tears to my eyes! What a lovely and touching tribute. The picture's adorable too.

    (You know, I'm not in the least little bit surprised you were a smart, cheerful, easy baby.)

  4. Capital Mom says:

    How lovely is that. Happy birthday Finola!

    (And, yes, what I took from this post most, even more then your mom's love for you, is that you slept through the night at 3 weeks. I wish you had been my baby.)

  5. Ross Brown says:

    Happy Birthday, Finola! What a wonderful tribute from your mom!

  6. wratwrds says:

    Congratulations, Finola. There's so much love and pride and affection in this post.
    And no wonder! You're pretty amazing!

    Happy 40th, lovely lady! : )

  7. Laura says:

    Such a beautiful tribute. What a great gift your Mom gave you…writing/explaining her pride and love. Not many parents can express it or take the time to do that for their children. Happy Birthday Finola.

  8. Happy Birthday Finola! We all love ya' and we're not even your Mom 🙂

  9. Gwen says:

    Thank God for mothers! No one else loves us quite the same way!!!

    Happy Birthday.

  10. Eileen says:

    It's great to read all the nice things said about Finola.

    Monica, it was especially nice to hear from you.

    Thank you all.

  11. JoeGirl says:

    So touching… goosebumps, tears, heart-strings—the works! Such a lovely post. Happy Birthday, Fin ❤

  12. Finola says:

    Thank you so much to everyone who commented, here, and on Facebook and Twitter too. A super special thanks to my Mom who wrote this for me, and who has always made me feel safe, secure and loved. I am very lucky. Thank you Mom and I love you.

    Cathy, Thanks Cath and it has been just wonderful to see you three times this year and to get to spend time with you and your beautiful family. Thank you for always being there (34 years and counting!)

    Monica, I miss you all so much and hope to see you soon. Thank you for the sweet words, and I think the world of you.

    Zoom, Brought tears to my eyes too. And I was lucky to have a smart, cheerful and easy-going Mom too!

    Capital Mom, Having always heard what easy babies both my brother and I were, I fully expected to have the same good-natured children myself. Wow was I surprised to have children who screamed all the time except when I was holding them! I wish I had been my baby too 🙂

    Ross, Thank you so much! I feel very lucky!

    Wratwords, Thank you, and I am pretty proud of my Mom too. She is the smartest woman I know.

    Laura, Thank you my friend. I hope I can one day express myself as well as my Mom did about my own children.

    Julie, Aw thanks…you so rock.

    Gwen, So true isn't it…it wasn't until I had children of my own that I understood just how powerful a mother's love is.

    JoeGirl, Thank you dear Joanne, I'm lucky to have such great family and friends 🙂

  13. Sasha says:

    What a lovely tribute, and it sounds like I'm not the only one with tears in my eyes from reading it.

    It also sounds like I'm not the only one who is not the least surprised to hear that you've been such a lovely person, right from the cradle.

    I wish you both a happy (if belated) 40th anniversary of this special day. And no, Finola, you don't look a day over 29 :p

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