I’m starting this blog post on Sunday evening. A day of rest. Ha.
Today I did the following:
- Fed and entertained two charming six-year-olds in the morning after a sleepover.
- Washed two loads of laundry
- Folded and put away four loads of laundry
- Meal planned
- Dropped off my charming six-year-old, B, at her friend’s house, and picked up my charming eight-year-old, N’s friend, and took the two lovely eight-year-olds to a birthday party at the trampoline place.
- Went to my old haunt, the Rideau St. Loblaws, to buy groceries
- Looked around Loblaws for the coffee stand but never found it.
- Packed groceries into car then set out onto Rideau St. in search of coffee as it was too soon to pick up the girls from their party.
- Noted that Rideau St. is still a seedy wasteland, as much as it has ever been.
- I walked West (?) for a long while and never found coffee.
- Saw Letellier in the distance and my heart jumped a bit because if I couldn’t get coffee, perhaps I could get a pair of cute ankle boots.
- Got to Letellier. Closed Sundays. Came to the sad realization there would be no shoes or coffee for me this day.
- Went back to pick up girls and was 15 minutes early. Waited to let the party wane and chatted with some other parents.
- Drove home loaner lovely eight-year-old and exchanged her for my charming six-year-old.
- Came home, put away groceries, cooked steak, spaghetti squash, and baked potatoes for the girls. Drank a Bud Light Lime while I cooked.
- Tweeted and Facebooked a little while I was in the kitchen.
- Supervised some homework.
- Ate dinner with my charming six-year-old and lovely eight-year old and discussed some heavy topics like baptism, God, evolution, heaven, and what different people believe. I handled myself with grace and diplomacy.
- Cleaned up kitchen, then kept looking at the basket of apples my neighbour had given me. Decided to bake some apple muffins.
- Please note that I do not cook or bake under normal circumstances, and that Tony is the cook around here. Seriously, this was the first time in my life I have ever cooked a steak.
- Read some bedtime stories to the girls and had happy loving snuggles before bed.
- Took out the garbage and did the last of the kitchen cleaning.
- Settled on the couch with a glass of wine and my netbook to do some more tweeting and blog post writing.
Now before you hate me, you need to know that this is a completely atypical Sunday for me. My normal routine would be to sleep in a little, get up and drink multiple cups of coffee while reading the newspaper. Convince Tony to go out and do all the errands that needed doing. He is not hard to convince as he seems to enjoy that stuff. Sit around, read, blog, tweet, more coffee. End the day by eating a delicious meal made by Tony In general, make a slug look like a productive being.
So what made Sunday so different is that Tony was away this weekend and I had to do it all. And surprisingly, it was not that onerous, even though I didn’t have any ‘me’ time or relaxing time at all. Even though I was much busier than when Tony is home, in some ways this weekend was easier. I knew what I had to do, and I did it. There was no negotiation about who will do what and when; no waiting to see if Tony would get up from the table and start the dishes, and no feeling of frustration when Tony would do things the opposite to how I would do them. A lot of this negotiation, at least for us, is non-verbal. We wait. Who will blink first?
I think a lot of stresses in a marriage come from the division of household chores. One of my friends told me once that he and his wife divided up these tasks, and that it did help to alleviate some of the tension in their house. Because let’s face it, if you have kids and a home and work, there is tension. It isn’t one person’s fault, but we are just pulled in too many directions, and we are all spread to thin to always give the best of ourselves to our partners. I have been thinking that assigning some chores around here could make things easier. Or even better would be to assign some to those gorgeous kids of ours. They have been getting a free ride for way too long now.
The epilogue to this story is that Tony came home this evening and I had a pot of chili waiting for him. I’m starting to think that maybe I can be a domestic goddess after all. She will just have to fight it out with my inner slug, but I think she has a good shot at dominating that spineless gastropod mollusc.